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...

Everything I need to know about life I learned from Tolkien...
by Dimond

  • Never underestimate the little guy!
  • Your worst nightmares really can come true.
  • So can your greatest dreams.
  • Be careful what you sing when you've had a little much to drink.
  • Wear your chain-mail UNDER your clothes.
  • Spiders are truly nasty creatures. Squish them.
  • Beware of the trees.
  • Trust the elves. They usually know what they're talking about.
  • Don't drop stones in unfamiliar water. You have no idea what could be down there.
  • Be careful what you pick up, especially if you don't know who dropped it.
  • Swords can be very dangerous.
  • Don't assume just because something fell that you killed it.
  • Trust the Wizards. Unless, of course, they hole themselves up in a big stone tower and start breeding orcs with men.
  • Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Unless you really can't help it.
  • Just 'cause you're foolish and annoying doesn't mean you can't be of help.
  • Sometimes you just gotta disobey your orders.
  • Do not go to the elves for council for they will say both "no" and "yes." Besides telling you their life story. (and considering they're immortal...)
  • Monarchy does work.
  • Don't judge someone's age by his size. Don't judge his strength by his size either.
  • Fairytales aren't always just made up.
  • Poetry is appropriate for all occasions.
  • Obey the Valar. Just do it.
  • Never, ever, ever give up. Even in the face of certain death by roasting, wolves, or poison.
  • Always arrive just in the nick of time. It makes for a better entrance.
  • Just because someone deserves to die doesn't mean you ought to kill him in cold blood.
  • Don't rely on stereotypes and rumors.
  • Never overlook anything.
  • The right Road is usually the most dangerous one.
  • Always take time to eat.
  • "Weird" doesn't always mean "bad."
  • Elven swords are the best.
  • Some trees like fire, some trees hate it. It really depends on the tree.
  • Dead spirits are dangerous.
  • One way to make friends is to speak their language.
  • Hope is truly and amazingly powerful.
  • Elven bloodlines die hard.
  • Always come home to your sweetheart.
  • If the only place in the world that your ultimate weapon can be destroyed is within your country's borders, and your enemies happen to have this weapon, be absolutely sure they can't get in.
  • Orcs really don't make very good spies. Or servants. Or anything.
  • When you come home from an adventure, chances are you're a different person than when you left.
  • Don't trust anybody who calls your mentor a fool.
  • Always be sure and wash your head before breakfast.
  • Prophesy does come true. Maybe not in the way you expected, but it does come true.
  • Looks can be very deceiving.
  • If you can't see someone clearly, don't try to kill them.
  • If you call for your rope, it will come to you.
  • Great empires often die from within.
  • If something is considered off-limits, there is probably a very good reason why.
  • Age is relative.
  • Be kind to the horses.
  • No price is too high for true love.
  • Never try to mouth off to a dragon.
  • Friends often appear when you least expect it.
  • Sometimes its good to kill the messenger.
  • Never think no one's listening.
  • You can't stay disguised forever.
  • Pride goeth before being stabbed in the back by a plucky halfling.
  • Pick your advisors VERY carefully.
  • Keep track of your relatives. Especially during war.
  • A vow made in anger can come back to bite you. Hard.
  • When you step out onto the Road, be careful. It may sweep you to places you never imagined.

 

–Dimond


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